I want to try and get my other moose back. Where did it go? Oh christ, I’ve lost the moose. Greetings, it’s me, and today was are playing ‘Zoo Tycoon’. And, this is the first video in my new series called ‘Tycoon Tuesday’. If you don’t understand what that means- it means I’m going to be uploading a Tycoon game, every Tuesday! So, that’s an extra video a week. Because I felt like it and I thought that it would be cool. But yeah, this is the first week! And I’m really excited. And I think all of these animals, especially this one- They all look, he doesn’t look that excited- but they all look excited! They are all jumping around and having fun. They’re all rushing home to, you know, get on their computers and watch my videos. I used to play this so much. This song in the background is already so nostalgic to me. -singing- Okay, I nearly messed up then. That’s okay. ‘Tutorial’. No one needs a tutorial. I know what I’m doing. Uh, ‘Death Mountain’? Christ. Um, which one do I go for? Even though usually when I have a plan, it never goes that way… Um, I have a plan. I want to make, sort of, a maze. And I think it’ll be super fun. Err, for me. Not for the guests or anything. I don’t think they’re gonna have fun at all. ‘An old excavation site in the middle of a city.’ Sounds perfect! Also, I forgot to mention, I’m probably not going to put an exit to this maze. You know, once you enter, you can’t get out. So, I want lots of money. There needs to be lots of money put towards, err, this maze. 500,000 dollars. That’s enough. ‘Jeep’. ‘Van.’ Thank you very much for, err, that information. That’s very useful. Oh, christ. How do you play? It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. Okay. Fences. We need paths and fences, right? Okay, we need a big iron bar fence. It’s just going to look like a massive jail. That’s my goal. Oh my god, there’s already birds coming to the zoo. Okay, I need to hurry up. Rocks. Rocks are mysterious. Let’s put a rock there. Oh. I’m scared already. Ah, that’s better. Okay. Now that I’m zoomed in, I can properly get to work. ‘Sorry’. I’m just apologising to any animal that has to go in there. How do you think this is gonna go? I think this is gonna go brilliantly. You know, the people can come in, and then there’s like 20 lions just looking at them. Look! They’re just chilling. It’s fine. They’ll be perfectly happy. Okay, that’s good. Lions are done. Of course they’re not happy. They need some grass. Okay, yeah, there we go. See? They’re all happy now! They’ve got their little bit of savannah there. Okay, someone is already here and I haven’t even finished building anything. Is there a pause button? Okay. I need to pause and really think this through. I’m not really sure how the zoo keeper is going to get in there. But they’ll have to figure that out themselves. ‘Sorry again.’ I’m just going to be constantly apologising. These exhibits can also be mazes. I’m sure the animals would enjoy that. I’m gonna to get so c- ‘I’m gonna get so confused’. Or ‘confus’. Okay. ‘Fouuurrr’. Okay, this isn’t confusing at all. ‘Cage.’ Yep. We need some bears. Bears are good. Bears get people excited. Oh my god, they’re all like- I don’t like how they’re being lined up. Is this animal cruelty? I think it slightly is. Can I just put a giraffe in there? This is like, they’re all preparing to get onto Noah’s Ark or something. Well, my plan is: once everyone is stuck in the park- Then I’ll release everything. And then we’ll just see what sort of chaos unfolds. I think I’ve accidentally made them all the same gender, as well. I forgot that you could change the genders of them. Let’s have a pen… for a tree. This is the, err, shrub exhibit. What an exciting park! So far- oh my goodness me. That’s a big rock. Christ. There’s no room for it anywhere. I can put it up here though. So the animals can look at it and have big dreams! At the end of the path here, is a drinks machine. Zoo Keeper. Zoo Keeper can just, go there. That’s fine. Restrooms. Okay. Well, the restrooms obviously have to go as far away as possible. And the toilet will look over everything. I can just tell already that all hell is going to break loose. I’m making artwork. Just bear with me. I’m sure people won’t find that suspicious, at all. Once everyone is in this part- I want to trap them all. And then they can, err, be, err, part of the zoo, too. You know, the animals can’t be in the zoo alone. There. And then once a lot of people are here. I’ll block off this exit. And then, I’ll make this a cage. And then, release all the animals, so that the animals can look at the people instead. Am I an evil genius? I don’t think so. I think this is a terrible idea, that probably isn’t gonna work. But let’s, err, unpause it. ‘Grizzly Bear 1 doesn’t like its exhibit’. Well, he will have to deal with it won’t he? I wonder what happens since they- okay. All of them don’t like their exhibits. That’s okay. ‘The National Organisation of Zoos has received numerous complaints about the living conditions of the animals in your zoo.’ Spoilsports. Oh my god, they’re all attacking each other. Okay, this isn’t going well. I think- I mean, the giraffes are fine. They’re just chilling, I think. Okay, come on people. I wish there were more people here. Maybe I should’ve done this after I had a lot of people in my park. Because at the moment, I’m only going to be able to trap like, five of them. Keep going! File in, file in, file in. I want to release them! I’m surprised they all haven’t killed each other yet. Or have they? Oh my god, is there blood there? Have they killed each other? Oh christ. Okay, okay. I can’t handle it anymore. I’m not one for animal cruelty. No, wait! You’re not allowed back in. You’re not allowed back in. Everyone who has gone through, must stay. Let’s put an end to this nonsense. Let’s release them all. I’m ready for chaos. Away you go. Oh my- Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, that’s graphic! Okay, okay. The giraffes just exploded. Oh my god, I thought that one was gonna go up the stairs and just leave. Why are these people running into the zoo? Surely they should be running out of the zoo. Evil. Yep, this is what you shouldn’t do, folks. Don’t do that. Don’t make a park like this. It’s a terrible idea. Oh, did all the people escape? Oh, I guess there is a door. Well, that didn’t work either. I think it might be time to just, start again. Let’s just leave this abomination. Okay! Um. My idea did not go as planned. -singing- Okay, let’s try and make the zoo nice for once. Okay. Let’s put a chimpanzee… Fantastic. It looks a bit lonely and a bit sad. But I’m gonna change that, this time. I am not a cruel person. Err, okay. Oh my god, people are coming in already. What a disappointment. They just walk in and there’s just a lone chimpanzee sitting on the sand. I want to name is Jeff. ‘More animals of the same type would make Jeff happier.’ Okay. Your wish is my command. Are you happy now, Jeffrey? Hooray! Look how happy they are! Let’s just… Okay. I’m an artist. Okay, I might need to sell a few just so they can have some, err, grass. Oh my goodness me. They’re so noisy. Can you keep it down in there? I’m trying to place some grass. What on earth is that? It doesn’t look like a bird. Or am I looking at it the wrong way? Oh, okay, It’s going that way. I thought that this was it’s face here. Uh, this is exhausting work. Oh yeah, I’m not allowed to err, have anymore animals again. Uh, you can’t do anything in this game. Fine, fine. Let’s go back to one chimpanzee. If I can delete them all… within an hour. Oh yeah, the people must be suffering right now. They need err, some toilets. A fountain! I’m sure the people would love a fountain. Oh! Okay. That isn’t what I wanted. That isn’t what I wanted. I wanted all the ani- okay. Okay, this is bad. Everyone leave! Let’s pretend none of it ever happened. Let’s start again. Let’s start again. Let’s see. Okay, what animal haven’t we had yet? What animal hasn’t suffered yet? Let’s actually try this time. Oh! Okay. Well. Please don’t come in. This is not a good time. I didn’t realise they would escape that quickly. I thought they would at least wait and see if I would make them happy first. Well, this one is still chill. I think I can-I can- I can work with him. See? He’s just laying down. That’s fine. I didn’t even know it was possible to loos- okay, there it is. It’s behind the tree. Okay. Are they escaping together? They’re escaping together, aren’t they? Yep. They’ve- okay. Bye! They don’t seem to be doing any damage to people. And there’s only one person here as well. This must be an extremely weird situation for them. Yeah, just. Okay. Let’s just- we can fix this. We can fix this. Back you go. Where’s the other one? Oh christ, where is the other one? Are you happy? Are you happier now? Oops. Boing! Boing! Can I just make the rest of the park water then? This is a waterpark now. I have so many questions about this game and what happens when you do things. Why is there a tree in the middle of the pathway? Oh, I wanna- I need a Zoo Keeper. There. Say ‘hi!’ Well, I want to generate more income so we obviously need some gift stands. They’re just standing right in front of the enclosure, like, you can’t see! You can never have enough tour guides, right? ‘After a thorough inspection, the National Organisation of Zoos has determined the living conditions has great ly improved’. ‘As a result, you are now able to adopt animals’. Huzzah! Even though my zoo is basically flooded and has twenty tour guides. I think that tour guide just hit that person in the face, I’m pretty sure. More have been available? ‘More have been available?’ What does that even mean? More are available! Oh! Seawater Crocodile? That sounds good! Penguins? Awww. Fantastic! Now I have endless possibilites! Ooh! Bigger fountains! Okay, here. Have a toy. Do you want two? Oh, you do want two. Three? Okay no, that’s too much. I’m sure the chimps would love a hot dog stand. There you go. Okay, no, they don’t like it. The person in there is probably like ‘what on earth is going on?’ Why don’t you like your exhibit? You have a hot dog stand! ‘Chimpanzee 1 cannot find it’s mate.’ Yeah, where the hell did it go? Are they sitting on each other? What’s going on there? All I want is for my chimps to be happy. Okay, people might need toilets. There. Okay, so to sum up the episode: Everything is angry. No one is happy. Well. That’s it for the first episode of Tycoon Tuesday! Oh my goodness, I can’t- why can’t I do anything normal? Shall we just let them all run free? Let’s let them all run free for the grand finale. Uhhhh my god. Well, I’m sure everyone who visited the zoo had a lovely day! Oh my god, that guy looked really green. Did you see that? Was he okay? Are there anymore green people? Let’s leave on this wonderful song and pretend none of that ever happened. Okay? I don’t have anything to say really but, err- I hope you enjoyed the episode? But yeah, thank you very much for watching. I really do appreciate it. Hi to any new subscribers! Err, I appreciate you all immensely. And yeah, thank you very much for watching, and see you in the next video! Stay tuned for another Tycoon episode, next Tuesday, for Tycoon Tuesday! I knew this was gonna be a disaster.