Geoff: Have I told the story of me, maybe being the best dad of all time or not? Gavin: I’m sure you’re wrong but… Geoff: Millie and I are on the outs right now, a little bit. Geoff: The other day, I don’t remember what the circumstances were but… She was annoyed with me. Geoff: And I’m like: “You know I’m the best dad in the world, right?”
Gavin: [Laughs] Geoff: And she put her arm around me and she goes: Millie: “You know you’re not the best dad in the world, right?”
Gavin: (Sighs) Geoff: And I say: “Excuse me? How do you know?” Geoff: And she’s like: “I’m pretty sure I know.” Geoff: She’s like: “You’re a pretty good dad, but you’re not the best dad in the world.” Geoff: I said “What about your mom? Is she’s the best mom in the world?” Geoff: She goes “I don’t know… If she’s the best mom in the world or not… Geoff: I just know that you’re not the best dad.”
Gavin: So she’s mad. Jeremy: WOW!
Michael: DAAAMMN! Geoff: I was like: “Who’s the best dad in the world?” Geoff: She’s like: ” I don’t know who he is… but I know it’s not you.”
Gavin: I will say… Jeremy: Oh my god!
Gavin: Having known you for a very long time. You’re a damn good dad! Geoff: Aw, thanks!
Gavin: You know, aside from being you… Geoff: Ah right.
Gavin: You somehow managed to be a dad as well. But… Gavin: I mean that’s some lip. I wonder where she’s getting that from. Michael: She’s getting it from Geoff.
Geoff: Yeah. Michael: Is where she’s getting it from. Its okay, Geoff. Michael: Is that why you are on the outs? Is that the whole story? Geoff: Well there was that and then there was another incident. Gavin: [Scoffs] Uh oh.
Michael: What’s this one? Geoff: Day before yesterday, I came home from work and I bought tickets to see “Keanu”. Michael: Right.
Geoff: Because Millie really wants to see it. Geoff: So I surprised her and Griffon with tickets to see “Keanu”. Geoff: And we went and saw the movie and it was a great time and all that. Geoff: And then on the way home Millie wanted to tell us something… Geoff: that was told to her in confidence from a friend or something. I don’t remember what it was. Geoff: I was like: “If you want to talk about it, you can. Me and your mom aren’t going to tell anybody, you can trust us.” Geoff: And she goes: “…Well, I can trust mom.” Jeremy: OH!
Geoff: I said: “Excuse me?” Geoff: She goes: “I know I can trust mom. You, I am on the fence about.” Michael: Damnnnn!
Jeremy: WOW! Geoff: and I was like: “I just… took you to a fucking movie… on a Wednesday night!” Geoff: And she goes: “Well, what do you want me to say? I’m on the fence.” Gavin: I like that, in every story, the way you describe her… Gavin: she sounds like a snarky 18 year old but she’s like what? Michael and Geoff: She’s 10!
Gavin: 10? Wow. Michael: I like how, every time, Geoff sounds like: Michael: (Imitating Wimpy Gavin Noises) Michael: In every story!
Jeremy: This innocent… (Jeremy and Michael Whimpering Mockingly at Geoff) (End Card Music) (Roosterteeth Animation Outro Music)