Hanging out in the studio with Safari Steve
again. Safari, we got a little problem with mountain lions locally here. People will walk
out into their backyard, wanna do a little grilling, maybe a little swimming and: BANG!
Uninvited guest named a mountain lion. So tell the viewers how we deal with these wildcats.
Well, Mike, mountain lions are very curious creatures, so chances are it just wants to
come and see how us city folk live. They just wanna nice tour. Oh, so they wanna be shown
around a bit? Well, that’s fun. What would be the first thing you would do with a mountain
lion? Well, I’d take him down to the botox clinic, have a few injections. Take him to
the salon, get a blow out on the hair, and then have it’s a****** bleached because cougars
loved to be pampered. We’re talkin’ about mountain lions? Mountain lions? Right, cougars.
Cougars? Cougars. Cougars. Cougars. Mountain lions? Mountain lions! Mountain lions. Yeah.
Okay, yeah, so what’s next, Safari? Oh. Next, I would take it down to the pier to see the
locals and have a bite. Oh, that’s a great idea. You know, there’s a German pretzel stand
down there that I can not get enough of. Oh, that sounds delish, Mike, but mountain lions
are carnivores, so I’d take him to a hot dog stand. Oh ****, the one that’s next to Alan’s
Pub? No, the one on the other side of the pier. It’s better. I doubt that very much.
If it’s the one I’m thinking about, it cannot be beat. I don’t think so, Mike. Yeah? As
informative as ever, Safari. Thanks for coming in and cluing in the viewers. Thanks, Mike.
It always feels good to educate folks with these helpful hints so they feel safer in
the wild. Up next: A Teletubby — what the hell where they? Stay tuned.