We’re here at the Australia Wildlife Walkabout Park. This is Kyana. Is that right?
Yeah, yeah. Am I saying it correctly?
Kyana, yeah. Oh, so I wasn’t saying it correctly. (laughs) Not quite. Can I call you… So it’s Key-Anna?
Kie-Anna. So it’s Karen. Karen?
Kyana. Got it. This is Steven. Well, there’s 80 acres of land. 80? Yeah, and it’s predator-proof fence, so they’re safe in here. That’s very nice.
Yeah. They’re safe from the most dangerous predator, man. (dramatic music) So just behind us here are all of our kangaroos and emus.
Kangaroos and emus. Actually some of them have babies in their pouches right now. That’s actually a little baby tail sticking out of that pouch there.
Oh, that’s the baby’s tail! I don’t wanna be rude, but I thought that was an erection. [Kyana] This is a joey kangaroo, so he might even jump back into mum’s pouch at that size. [Conan] At that size they get back into the pouch? [Kyana] Yeah. You know, that’s a lot of millennials. They move back in when they’re like 22, 23.
Yeah. Would you like to pat an emu? A what?
An emu? Would I like to what? Would you like to pat an emu? You know, I don’t get offered that every day. (audience and Kyana laugh) [Kyana] There you go. Let me ask you something. You’ve got wallabies, kangaroos, emus all together. [Kyana] Yeah. Is there every any intermingling of the species? (laughs) No. There’s no emu-roos? (dramatic music) No. Behold, the dreaded Tasmanian devil. It sounds like such a fierce animal, and then you see ’em. It doesn’t look very fierce. We’re gonna put America’s blooper sound effects on this. Doing, doing, doing, doing.
(boinging) (upbeat, playful music) The Tasmanian devil. A very, very dangerous animal, but not the most dangerous animal. Definitely not. You know what the most dangerous animal is? Would it be a snake?
Man. Can’t believe you didn’t see that coming. Hello?
(Kyana laughs) (bird shrieking) That’s not what I said! I said hello!
(bird shrieking) Nope, got it wrong again. Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! (bird shrieking) This is the echidna. It has a long, protruding nose. Very thin. The sense I’m getting from this animal is very much like hmm, I don’t wanna be a bother. Hmm, I’m doing the best I can. (Conan groans quietly) The male echidna actually has a four-pronged penis. (Kyana laughs) Is that four penises, or one penis with four tips? That’s one penis with four tips. Why? Why not? She’s good. Four-tipped penis. That’s a lot of work if they’re Jewish. It’s a circumcision joke. (laughs mischievously) Before we meet Tonka, there’s just a few things– Tonka the wombat.
Tonka the wombat. Yes. Before we meet him, there’s a few things we need to understand about wombats. They are inclined to bite on the back of your leg. It’s important that you guys actually stand still, because we don’t want to encourage him. Because if you’re moving and you’re playing, he’s gonna bite more. You’ve got to trust Kyana and me (Kyana laughs)
to look after Tonka. So what you’re saying is when Tonka the wombat attacks and starts biting me, I should remain perfectly still and let him bite more until you two decide it’s time to intervene. Exactly. They can actually run up to 45 kilometers an hour. I’ve just been told not to move, because the wombat may bite the back of my legs. (dramatic music) [Kyana] They’re very dense and muscly, and that’s one of the reasons they can move so fast. Tonka, they gave us a pretty scary speech before you came out. You look like you’re looking for your missing car keys. There he goes, back to slaughter another village. Tonka, the ultimate killing machine. [Audience] Aww! Oh, there’s a spider above you, above your head. You were about to walk into it. The spider’s dangerous, but not the most dangerous creature. The most dangerous creature is man. So this is Gumnut, our male koala. They eat only eucalyptus leaves, which means they don’t get much energy. So they actually sleep about 20 hours every day. Yes, I’m familiar with that phenomenon. Can I talk to you for a second Gumnut? All you eat is eucalyptus, and so you have no energy and you sleep 20 hours a day. So you can’t get a job, and that’s what’s destroying your life. Here’s what I’m gonna ask you to do. I want you the try, just try pizza. I want you to try pizza. I know, it’s just not my way I suppose. Just not my way. Oh, I’m getting to you now, aren’t I? Kids, don’t be like Gumnut. Apply yourself, work hard, and stay off the eucalyptus. Yeah. You make me sick.