Mark: *Looking down and looks up * *aggressive whooshing noises* Mark: Faster. Stronger! *very aggressive whooshing noises with Mark trying and struggling to open his eyes from gust wind* You’re goin’ so fast!
*Ethan and Tyler giggle* Mark: Anyway, Which one am I looking at? This one? Mark: Hi.
Amy: I would look in the middle. Hi guys! Hows it going? Welcome to the Balloon Animal Challenge. I hope this is a delightful close-up. *intense smolder* Amy: How close? (quietly) Oh, so close. Keep me nice and close. Is it good? Close? Mark: SHHHHHHtop. Ethan: Oh. Mark: Welcome to the Balloon- *everyone laughs* *Mark slurps* Mark: Anyway, welcome to the Balloon Animal Challenge Where me, Dingus, and Wingus here are gonna be doing these balloon- (stuttering) wh-ar-is it zoomed in or not?? Amy: I mean, it’s- M: guhuhud! WELCOME TO THE BALLOOOOOOOOON ANIMAL CHALLENGE!!!!! Mark: Hello. Hi. Welcome to this camera now. We have air pumps. Mark: We got balloons. Why is yours wet? Tyler: You-you sucked on it!
M: Oh, oh, *I* sucked on it? Yeah, RIGHT! M: Alright, so we’re going to take our sacks of balloons,
and we’re gonna get suggestions and-uhhh, we’re gonna have one minute to make balloon animals. E: That is what we discussed. One minute. *Mark and Ethan giggles* T: No, that’s two minutes.
M: Nope, one minute!
E: (echoing) One minute! M: WE HAVE ONE MINUTE! ONE MINUTE!!!!!
E: Woah M: It creates a sense of crisis and urgency if we only have (voice crack) ONE MINUTE!!!! So we get one starter balloon, but then every other balloon We have ONE MINUTE!
Kathryn, are you going to be keeping time? Ethan: *laughs* M: Are we ready to get started?
E: Yeah, but we’re starting with the starter balloons…? M: Yea, but we, I-I might need more
E: *chuckling* okay..? M: You never know. Hey, you’re not gonna win on creativity if you’re only using one balloon.
E: You’re right, you’re right. M: Ready?
Amy: Your first animal is-
M: (interrupts) Start the clock as soon as she says the name! Amy: -is snail. M: Ahh, shit! M: Ah-wah-how did it get all the way over there?? *grunting and squeaking* M: Oh no Oh boy Amy & Kathryn: Time! E: Pretty snail-like
M: Pretty snail- WHOAHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
E&T: *laughing* M: WHHOOOAA!!! T: *MINE’S* the snail!! M: WHOA-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HOA E: Ayyyyyyy!
M: *to Ethan* Yours is a twin snail. M: Th-Th-They’re snails outta their shell makin’ ~love~
E: Ye-Yeah! E: Yeah, that’s how snails mate
M: That-THAT’S a snail. M: Nice snail *laughing* dick on there.
*everyone laughs* M: I mean, just-I don’t even wanna DEBATE mine. But, we’ll leave it up to our impartial judges Why is that *laughing* pointed at my face?! T: *giggles* He’s sayin’ hello. M: *exhale* Sorry. I can’t help it. E: *to Tyler* But explain yours. M: Yeah, explain it. T: Okay, mine is a snail that’s overgrown his shell, and is starting to leave its shell to get a new shell Because the shell is too small And as you can see its got the curls of a normal shell M: It’s pretty good, it pretty good, it pretty good M: Uhh M: Mine is a UC Bearcats… M: …Snail… M: That’s ready for the game M: And he’s geared up and ready to go So he’s like “OH YEAH!!” M: OOOOOHHH M: OOOOHHHHH M: OOOOHHH *laughs* *APPLAUSE* M & T: UC! Mark: That’s my snail Ethan: Oh, uhh my snail is two snails that came out of their shells to come toge- Mark: THAT’S WHAT I SAID! Uhh’ S’CUSE ME BUT THAT WAS MY VISION No, it was not! BUUUUUUUT It was my vision oh, see now yours isn’t even a snail it’s a hat! Ethan: My snails- Mark: Gimme the snail My snails were two snails mating and you can see- how the – it’s like eagles falling from the sky, tangling together it’s what snails do when they mate M: Eagles don’t-s-tangle together when they mate Ethan and Tyler: Yeah actually they do! Mark: In the SKY? [Simultaneously] (Ethan:) Yeah, they fall and, like, spiral down— (Tyler:) Yeah, they— they latch down and spiral down— Mark: They gotta finish before they hit the ground? Ethan: Yeah Tyler: Yep Ethan: It’s like a death dance Man that is that is *giggling* adrelanine! *Ethan laughing* So who wins, according to the impartial judges? Kathryn: Tyler Mark: Yeah, it’s obvious WOOOHOOOO Amy: A butterfly Everyone: *laughing* Mark (laughing): So funny!! (and more laughing) *Squeaky squeaky rubbery noise, and blowing balloons* *BOOM!* *SCREAMING* *AND LAUGHING?* *Inhales deeply *Manly scream* Mark: It’s your own fault *More squeaking and blowing* *Now only squeaking* Mark: Uhhh Ethan: No! *More squeaking* *Laughter from Ethan* *Squeaking* Kathryn: Time! *Mark laughing* Ethan: I can explain… Mark: You can explain huh? *Tyler laughing* Mark: Oh, you were so close! Tyler: I know! Mark: Oh, you were right there! Okay… Explain yours (to Tyler) You gotta make it work! Tyler: Mine, Is a butterfly, Whose wing got grabbed and can’t fly anymore *Thoughtful silence* Mark: That’s so sad… My heart bleeds for that Mark: MINE, Is just a normal butterfly You can see the prodigious wings You can see its little legs coming through here You can see the proboscis *Ethan laughs* *Mark laughing* PROBUSCIS! *Mark, Ethan and the judges laughing* *giggling* You can see the-he the uhh The thorax here. You’ve got the anthrax and the thorax Here… *Ethan laughs* *Ethan laughs and Mark joins* Ki- Anatomy lesson— Proboscis *laughing* *and everyone laughs* Anthrax *still laughing* Thorax *laughing still Sporax *calmed down* Got it? (laughing again) Makes sense? Alright This is mine diddly diddly diddly So pretty… Ethan: So mine was a butterfly that was flapping- flapping through a garden and a dog came and he tore it in half and this is all that’s left Okay impartial judges who wins? Impartial Judges: Mark! Mark! Mark: YEAHHHAHAHAHAYY Mark: See, a minute is plenty of time if you fuckers hurry up BE FREE BUTTERFLY! Huh HuPUFFF! Tyler: what? *Mark smashing the butterfly* Amy: Alright… The next anim- (eager expression) Ethan: Go ahead *laughter* The next animal is: bunny *inflating* *inflation* *laughing out of difficulty* (Ethan’s balloon pops) *Another manly scream* *Mark and Tyler laughing* Tyler: NO! *squeaking* *inflating and squeaking* Mark: Uohh fuck *Mark leaning over to grab balloons* *Mark moaning* Mark: What are you? Done? *laughter* Ethan: I’m already, done. Tyler: I totally lost *laughing out of sadness* I can’t do it *crying* Judges: Time! Mark: Done *Ethan laughing* *Ethan and Mark laughing* Tyler: Mine is a one eared floppy one eared sprung bunny. Umm… It got in a f- a fight with a dog which is why the other ear still floppy and uhh… and it’s a Markibunny… Mark: Don’t rope me into this one… *Tyler laughing* Get your dangly ass bunny outta here! Mark: Alright Mark: So, mine here like “Oh! What is this abstract shape? Wait, *phew and flip it* Bunny. Ear, ear, face, body, two little legs. *making it more childish* Two little nubby legs there… Mark: This is the proboscis…*all start laughing* Or-or, you could-you couldn’t-it’s like modern art. You can interpret it many ways. It’s, a bunny looking forward, or bunny looking to the side and these are the ears. Mark: So a bunny with titled head disease. It’s about to die.
Ethan: Tilted head disease? *giggles* Mark: that’s a real thing Ethan: Is it really? Mark: Yea for bunnies if they get- Mark: if their heads starts tilting and they can’t stop and then they die. Ethan: aww… that’s so sad. Amy: they can still live, it’s just that they’ll— Mark: and then they DIE! (interupts) THEY DIE!! THEY’RE DEAD!! THEY’RE GONE. DEAD BUNNIES. ALL OF THEM. ALL BUNNIES IN THE WORLD. DEAD! Except for mine. Ethan: I went with a simpler approach This is a head and some ears. Good old fashioned ears. *awkwardly copies Mark* Amy: I like Ethan’s.
Kathryn: Yeah I like Ethan’s *SMACKS MARK’S BUNNY* Mark: WHAT!? Ethan: YEA! Mark: WHAT THE FUCK I HAD 3D! Are you kidding me?!? (Ethan laughs) Mark: Ethan’s- (Mark kills Ethan’s bunny) Mark: -BULLSHIT BUNNY! (Ethan traumatized) (Ethan slaps Mark) Ethan: How dare you? Mark: Easily Mark: Okay. What’s next? Amy: We’re all tied up.
Kathryn: Yep Mark: Bullshit Amy: The next animal is jellyfish! *Intense inflating* *BOOM* Ethan: Aww fuck! Why?!?! Mark: You need to stop. Ethan *laughing* Every time! *squeaking* Ethan: *giggles* Judges: Time! Tyler: Wait? Was that time? Mark: That was time. Mark: *Laughing* Nice snail! (Mark keeps laughing) *Tyler facepalm* Mark: You stole my idea. Ethan: I wasn’t looking at you the entire time! Ethan: Go ahead Mark: Go ahead Tyler: Can you even let yours go? M: *softly* What? T: Ethan? E: Yeah M: Ethan, can you let yours go?
T: Let yours go
M: Ethan, let yours go *Ethan’s creation falls apart* *laughter* T: Anyway-
M: That’s acceptable. Ok
M: Woahahaoh woahaha E: Don’t touch it, it’ll sting you T: Mine… is a Portuguese Manowar You can tell by the smaller top and the longer tentacles. M: I can see that, I can see that. Mine, is the star jellyfrish, from the movie Finding Nemo. It’s top was bounced upon by Dory, herself. By Ellen DeGeneres, herself. Anyway, you can see the main body, and then the danglies. It’s a friendly one. T: I see a cow whale E: Hah, a cow whale?
M: It doesn’t matter what you see.
T: That’s a whale and those are-that’s the udder. M: It doesn’t matter what you see, it’s a matter of what it is and it is a jellyfish. It’s the Star Jellyfish, it was me. Anyway, explain your bullshit E: I really don’t know what to say. *laughs* M: You tried to do mine.
E: No, no!
M: With worse execution. E: I just didn’t blow it up enough so I couldn’t… See, I tried to… M: Yeah, you tried, the-the key word is that you tried and you failed E: There ya go, that’s a jellyfish. A: So, Mark
A: -is the winner M: YEEAAH! Nice argument though, I could definitely see the Manowar afterwards. T: I was gonna tie this, here. M: Oh, that woulda looked great Judges and Ethan: *laughing* M: That would’ve looked real good. Okay, alright. So that was the speed round. The score stands, him one, me two, him one. We’re gonna bump it up into double or nothing. This is double round, we double the time, we double the points. Sound fair?
M: Sound fair?
T: Yeah M: You guys have a chance to catch up, I have a chance to win. Easy peasy. Got it?
M: Okay, cool. A: Your next animal is… Whale! *Inflating and squeaking* *Guitar wailing* *BOOM* E: Euh
M: WO *Inflating and squeaking* *Guitar wailing* *Ethan giggling* What’s the time at? K: Uh, 20 seconds K: Time *Phone timer going off* T: Mine came apart, it was kinda E: Well, you can’t keep going
A: TIME M: Yeah, yeah yeah, time E: Alright, Tyler. T: Mine’s a mighty baby blue whale. It’s three dimensional. M: Kinda. Mine’s also three dimensional, but better. I have a momma whale. Cute little momma whale, you even have fins on the side of those. You get the full shape of the girth of the momma. And then the little baby, swimming along the side. Momma and baby, together. Woahohohohoho E: Mine’s a big whale Goin’ *Whale sounds* See you got the big back-the big back-
E: -flipper that’s qpsh qpsh in the water. You’ve got the big fins, the long, long body going through the ocean. You can see it now. *More whale sounds*
M: Don’t bring that near me E: So that’s my whale. M: Mine-mine was a sperm whale. A: Mark
K: Mark T: Mine-mine died.
E: FUCK M: Cool! Who gets second place though? We’ll give them one point.
E: *Quietly but excitedly* Yes! Yes. A: Ethan. M: Really? E: Yes
K: Yeah M: How in the fuck? E: I had such size in mine.
M: He did-he did argue for it more, you kinda was lackluster on your presentation T: I can’t fuckin’ tie a balloon… M&E: *laughing* M: But yay! A: So it’s Mark-4, Tyler-1, Ethan
A: 2 M: Ok, so, this next one will be worth three but second place will be worth two. That way Ethan could win, Tyler could tie it. ‘Cause if Tyler gets that and he gets second place, it’s all tied up. Make sense? K: Yep M: So first place, three points, next place two points. If I get this I cinch the win. If I don’t, I’m a fucking asshole because I made up the rules so that I would fail. A: The next animal is… Flamingo *Inflation, squeaking and guitar playing continue* M: HAHAHA Ah fuck, you stole my idea. *POP* T: Fucking get off my thumb! K: Half way. E: This is really stressful. M: I know right? K: Time E: *laughing* M: There we go. T: So mine, is a fancy flamingo. It’s head is up, ready, just facing the sky, being a full on diva. You can see this is it’s beak. It’s got two wings ’cause birds have wings. And it’s got two legs, but they’re inner flopping, so you know how flingama-flamingo usually stands and like, crosses it’s legs and stands on one leg. It’s-it’s full dancing capable. M: Okay. Mine is a proper ALL pink flamingo. And I think I’m the only one who had it standing on one leg like it should be. Uh, it’s got the cockney leg, you can tell there’s a second leg ’cause of the knee there. The knee joint, it’s resting on the other one. This is the body, these are the glorious wings and this is the face. This one in particular is in mating season and it’s beak has inflated. Uh, to become more prominent and more attractive to the females. So as you can see mine is obviously the best. E: Alright, well, while theirs were great and everything like that. Mine’s got-
M: Yours isn’t even pink. E: Uh, does it have to be pink? No, I don’t think so. I-
M: You made me an orange flamingo. E: Well, first of all, it’s orange and blue. Second of all, we didn’t have to make accurate colors. M: Yes we did! E: That was just an artistic choice. And I chose- M: Your artistic choices suck. E: Well, that’s my opinion, isn’t it? M: Yes it is *laughs* E: So these are the long legs, the long body, the flamingo has a naturally very long leg-uh neck. So, here’s the body, here-here’s the neck.
M: Long legs, long body, long wings, long neck. M: Anyway
E: Mine has long legs, big neck like flamingos do. T: We’ve got diva flamingo.
M: We’ve got the correct flamingo.
E: We’ve got the best flamingo. A: I like Tyler’s
K: Tyler’s M: Who’s second place? A: Mark?
E: FUCK M: WOOOOOO A: So you’re at 6, Mark. Tyler’s at 4, Ethan’s at 2. E: *softly* what? A: I think you should be able to vet your points. E: Yeah
M: Oh, like a final-Final Jeopardy.
A: Final Jeopardy. M: Yeah, okay. T: I’ll bet-I’ll bet half of my points. E: I’ll bet all of my points. M: That gives you nothing. E: Well it’s double or nothing. M: No, it’s- T: You know what? Fine. E: Four.
M: Well, yeah you would get four but E: Yeah Go all, go all in M: Okay, wait. So you’re betting how many?
A: You’re at six. T: I have, how many? You have. He has six, I have four.
M: You have to bet three to win. T: Yeah, I’ll bet-I’ll bet it all. M: You’re gonna bet it all?
T: I’m gonna bet it all. M: Then I’m not gonna bet anything. E: Bitch A: Your last animal is a cockroach M: I picked the right color T: Oh that’s a broken balloon *intense music and squeaking* M: Fuck K: Halfway T: NO K&A: Time T: So mine is a very three dimensional-
M: Is it a vagina?
T: Nope! *Mark laughing* T: So, a-a hissing cockroach has two features that are very distinguishing besides the color. The antenna being overly exact, which are also used as the pincers. And it also has the winged tail to balance it out. Now on a hissing cockroach, you don’t necessarily see the legs because they are underneath. So you have the full three dimensional concept, the coloration, and full design. M: Um, when I think of cockroach, I think of the prominent antennae, and the huge dick. That’s my main feature about, uh, uh, cockroaches, but it’s often confused. This is not the peni, these are the testes. This is the peni, and also this. So you have the Earthen color of the cockroach, uh, and it’s disgusting nature. But, in a way very cute So you see it skittering along the ground and you’ll take note that um, it-it’s actually quite friendly and you can learn a lot from it’s survival capabilities because no matter what hardship gets thrown at it It will always, always come through in the end. T: I like how you’re describing a cockroach E: I have a question. T: and not your balloon M: That’s my balloon.That’s your vagina, you described it quite wrong. E: Could you point out the proboscis for me? M: Oh, of course. Alright. This is the proboscis. E: Cool, thank you. M: Right, you’re welcome. This is the anthrax, this is the thorax. E: Thank you M: Alright. E: Uh, with mine, you know, when I think of cockroaches, I think of the legs. Uh, it’s little bleheleleh as it crawls across your living room floor. So I made the legs very prominent in my piece, uh, so these are the legs down here it’s got this long uh, abdomen right here And then we’ve got the antennae right up here because that’s also a feature because they’re going like this all on the floor while they’re skittering across. M: Right.
E: And it has sort of like a cylindrical body
M: Yeah E: Uh, and that’s really what I made prominent here was the cylindrical body and the legs M: But where’s the penis? E: Ah, yeah, sorry. Uh, right down here.
*Mark laughing* M: Okay, who wins? Judges: We like Ethan’s. E: YAAY
M: AND THAT MEANS I WIIIIN A: Tyler and Ethan tie for second! E: Yay! M: WOOO T: How did that happen? I have zero points. K: Yeah, he bet it all
M: He bet everything
*laugher* M: Tyler’s in dead last! And me, with the conservative zero bet which is a Jeopardy stratagem. I WIN WOOOO! Release the balloons. Oh M: WOO
E: WOO M: Ow, it poked me right in the eye
E: Happy new year M: We hope you enjoyed this balloon making challenge, we certainly had a lot of fun Uh, thank you that everyone tweeted us sug- Thank you to everyone that tweeted us suggestions and uh, we hope to do this kind of challenge again. Maybe not balloon making but more crafty stuff in the future. So thank you everybody so much for watching and as always we will see YOU in the next video! Buh-bye! E: Bye *outro music*