*indistinct chattering, country music, and occasional gunshots playing throughout* Lion: Come one! Come all! Step right up to the laser shooting gallery, and show off your shooting skills! Rhino: Hmm… don’t quit your day job, Lion! Lion: What do you mean? This IS my day job. Rhino: Are too. Lion: Are not. Rhino: Are too.
Lion: Are not. Rhino: Are too! Lion: Are not! Look, I’m telling you that there is nothing back there but a shooting gallery. Lion: We bought you at a half-off sale. Too bad they didn’t get your better half. Rhino: We are NOT amused. Good people! Don’t pay any attention to this “King of the Jungle” wannabe! Rhino: Step right back there into the laser shooting gallery, and try your luck! Lion: I know it’s tough for a rhino to look happy, but smile, there are customers approaching. Rhino: Why should I smile? I’m stuck on a wall above a shooting gallery, working long hours, listening to a babbling kitty-cat! Lion: Hey, it isn’t so bad. If we were back at home, we’d be fighting for a spot at the water hole, and you know how cranky you get around other animals. Lion: Besides, we get to hang out in this nice store and welcome all the folks to Cabela’s laser shooting gallery! Rhino: Well, sure, that part’s okay… but I still have to listen to your incessant chatter all day! Lion: *humming “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by The Tokens* Lion: ♪In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight♪ *yawns* Rhino: *inhales* Ohh, I wish you WOULD go to sleep! Rhino: You can’t carry a tune, let alone your own weight around here! Lion: You want to talk about weight? You’re not exactly on the “Top 10 List of Dainty”. Lion: They probably had to reinforce the wall just to support your enormous girth! Rhino: *snorts* Ohh I’d like you better if you’d listen to those song lyrics and GO TO SLEEP!!! Rhino: *groans* Why me?… Rhino: Hey, you! Rhino: Oh, I love doing that! *laughing* Did you see them jump?! *laughter* Lion: You must stop doing that, or you’re going to get us both in big trouble. Lion: Hey, you. Yeah, you. Lion: Come on in and take your best shot. Come on! Rhino: Yeah, there’s this really cool laser shooting gallery back there! Check it out! Lion: Please, folks. Don’t look at us like we’re crazy. Lion: Talking is not such a big deal. Rhino: Yes, it takes real talent to test your skills in the laser shooting gallery! Rhino: Step on in, and give it your best shot! Lion: Welcome to the taser gallery. Step right– Rhino: No no NO!! It’s a LASER shooting gallery! Rhino: Eugh… pay no attention to him, folks. I think they left his brain in the other half of his body. Rhino: Tally-ho! Rhino: *laughing* And you thought you’d seen everything! Lion: Alright Rhino, quit taunting the humans. They’re not pestering you. Rhino: Well, I didn’t get a spot of tea today. Rhino: And the day isn’t complete without my tea! Lion: Have you looked at yourself lately? You’re never going to be complete again. Rhino: I say. You don’t have to stand out there and watch! Rhino: Come on in to the laser shooting gallery, and try your luck! Lion: Give it a try! The rhino here says he’s the best shot west of Mount Kilimanjaro. Lion: But I bet my majestic mane that he isn’t. Rhino: And I’d gladly give away my horn if they’d send you back to the Serengeti! Lion: Step right up folks, and take your best shot! Let’s see what you’ve got! Lion: The laser shooting gallery is where we separate the men from the boys. Rhino: And the ladies from the girls! Lion: And the lions from the rhinos. Rhino: I WISH I could be separated from you… Rhino: Look at all the wonderful items they’re buying, Lion! The management is going to be so proud! *chuckles* Rhino: It’s promotion time for me! I’ll be hanging up front! Lion: I shouldn’t be so lucky. Lion: Hey folks, before his head swells anymore and his horn explodes, why not take a break and step into the laser shooting gallery for some fun? Lion: Hey! Psst! Up here! Lion: What’s wrong? Haven’t you ever heard the King of the Jungle talk before? Rhino: Hm! It’s all I ever hear! I haven’t had a quiet moment since they dusted you off and hung you up! Lion: Hey, you’re not the best company either. Lion: Always complaining about your wrinkled and dry skin. Rhino: Will you be quiet for a minute and let these people go into the laser shooting gallery so they can try their luck?? Rhino: *imitating Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry* Hey… you feeling lucky?… Rhino: Well… are ya?… Lion: You’ve been watching too many old movies on late-night television. Rhino: Well… perhaps I should regale you with my impersonation of Humphrey Bogart, from The African Queen! Lion: Oh please, do give it a rest, Rhino. Lion: I think these folks would rather go into the laser shooting gallery and give it their best shot than listen to your pitiful human impressions. Rhino: Well… Rhino: Psst! Hey… let’s make a break for it! Rhino: I think I could bust a h–